With my new schedule, that being the lack of a schedule, I have found myself spending large amounts of time using the internet. I will sit down in the morning, open bloglovin and realize three hours later that I have just been sitting at a screen for all that time. Granted, during that time I am reading interesting information, looking at informative articles, being inspired, and so on, but much of it I am also just clicking around and filling my head with extra. Extra information that is not more important than working on the quilt I have begun for baby girl. Extra worrying about what other people are up to rather than writing a letter, setting up a coffee shop date, or preparing a little package for the mail. Rather than facing life head on I am seeing it through a screen.
While I value technology and it's place in my life, right now I have given it too large of one. So, last week I told myself that needed to change. I will still be here five days a week to share bits of my own life and to connect with others I admire or have built friendships with, but I will be being more mindful of the clock as I do so. And the time I am not online? I am going to do my best to pretend it doesn't exist, to ask myself what I would do if there were no internet, no endless abyss to distract me. To take a little time each morning and afternoon to tend to this space and to check in on others, but to fill my other hours with more fully living. This morning, rather than continuing to click around, once my time was up I tended to some ironing that has been needing tending to for weeks, read books that have been sitting in a dusty pile waiting for me to finish them, picked up around the house and cuddled my critters, created a large list of things I have been wanting to do to make my home more cozy and organized. None of those things would have happened had I not tucked the laptop away and forced myself to look at how I really wanted to fill my day.
Back on my old blog, at the beginning of the year, I talked of my word for the year being "simplify" and this is all just a continuation of that desire. I want to live more simply and more mindfully and not look back on my days and see only a glowing screen looking back at me or have regret for all the things I want to have done, but am not doing. I want for when little lady is born, for her not to think time spent on a computer or phone is more important than time spent with her. So, I need to start now in changing the way I am living, to fill my days with things that bring me joy and things that need to be done for my family to make our days run more smoothly as a whole. I need to allow myself empty time so that I can choose how to fill it. I'm looking forward to continuing on this journey and seeing how it changes the way I live my life.
If you have made an effort to limit internet usage or to find a balance in your online time I really wouldn't mind hearing about it. I think it can be a hard change to make and a hard balance to find, but I know deep inside it is a change I need now more than ever.