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Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Needs and Realities

A place where part of my heart will always reside.

So often lately I open a page to write and find myself without anything to put down. That's not entirely true as there is so much always happening in my mind, but lately I have been pushing it back rather than letting it make it's journey through my fingers and onto the page. So many thoughts on life, on becoming a parent, on what the future may hold, and about how I feel on this very day. Instead, I knit. Around eight days ago I started a blanket and it should be finished by the end of tomorrow. While those stitches will one day keep my baby warm, right now they are serving the purpose of providing a much needed distraction for her mother, but since I am about ready to bind off and sew in the loose strands I am going to have to find another distraction or go ahead and dig in to what is happening in my upper atmosphere.

I have found this summer to be a bit of a challenge. While I looked forward to being pregnant in the summer and am still happy it turned out that way, this one has been trying. I do my best writing when I can sit outside with nothing but a notebook, pen, and jug of water. With the fresh air, a bit of sun, and an occasional breeze I am able to tap into a different part of myself, yet this summer has brought abnormal weather and left me spending more time inside where the air is cooler and the light a bit less harsh. With 100 plus degree days for weeks at a time I was thrown a curve ball I hadn't expected and while I have not been one to complain about this weather, it sure has done a number on me.

With all of that being said, I am determined to find a way around this. Early mornings and late nights allow for a bit of relief from the heat of the day and I will try harder to find the motivation to get out into them. Days stuck inside painted walls can be nice now and then, but I thrive off of nature, off hearing bugs and birds rather than the buzz of air-conditioning, off grass beneath my toes rather than varnished hardwood. I need to make it more of a priority to spend my time in a way that makes me feel whole, and while creative projects play a large role in that fulfillment, I will never be complete without time spent outdoors where I can feel totally free, if only for small moments.

Sara

4 comments:

  1. It has been a very challenging summer in many ways for so many people. Hang in there, the change of seasons will be here soon, your baby will be here and you will have some amazing moments outside in nature, totally free and enjoying the innate love of nature children have.

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  2. I feel you! I LOVE being outside and the summer time is really the ONLY time to be outside comfortably. Being pregnant during this summer is NOT fun or pleasant at all. I hope you are able to cope with it just a few more weeks! Little baby girl will be here and your mind will be far from feeling these thoughts! You will have a little miracle to distract you from sleeping, showering and doing anything at all! :)

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  3. Yes, thank you. Fall has always been my favorite season and I am really excited to share it with our baby girl. Her estimated due date is just a few days before the equinox, so we may just have an autumn baby on our hands, there's no telling. :)

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  4. Ha, yes, we'll both have little distractions here before we know it, huh? :) I'm just hoping for a few milder weeks before she comes so I can soak up the weather and nature a bit, but once she's here we'll be sure to get in the habit of family walks with her each day (once we're ready) so we can have that time to soak it up as well and to start a love of the outdoors early. :)

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