Pages

Friday, December 7, 2012

Slice of Life: Take 4




trimmed tree / boots & books / another of Izzy's corners / last of my subscription and other treasures through the mail


So many thoughts need to get out of my mind and onto a page, but I cannot seem to find a spare minute to get them out, not even in my private paper journal. I love my baby girl more than anything in the world, but what I wouldn't give for just thirty minutes a day alone with some empty pages, a cup of tea, and a warm sweater. If we're being honest, which I almost always am, I would probably really end up with my face smashed down upon the pages, drool soaking them to the spine, and a cup of tea rapidly cooling by my side, but I suppose those drool stains would tell their own sort of story. A story of a new mom who is trying to catch a grip, but having a rough go of it this week. Sweetest I has only been taking naps if smashed up against me, preferably boob in mouth. No carriers allowed, no swinging, and don't even think about putting her down for a moment. This is all fine for the most part, and I am sure it's just another thing that will morph into something new before I know it, but I wouldn't be being honest if I didn't note that it has been tough. I soak up the cuddles and enjoy them while they last, yet know that I must take care of myself too and I haven't been doing a great job of that. Oh, and I may have just told the dogs that if they bark I will slaughter them all...I told you we were being honest...and also that I've been having a rough go of it...and we all know that the closest I would come to slaughter is making them go outside for a minute to give me some room to breathe. The baby is finally sleeping, on her own, and I will probably start crying if anyone ruins that.

Yesterday really was the hardest day since my girl has been born, but not for any real reasons beyond my just feeling a bit overwhelmed and also emotional over family matters. Luckily, I woke up on better footing, knowing today would be different, for my sister is coming for the weekend, E is off for the next three days, and my Mom came over this morning for a visit while also running to the grocery store with me and lending a hand. And would you believe it? Little darlin' is asleep right this minute, something I was fearing I would never see again. And that cup of tea? It's right here beside me, still warm. I think we might just be heading for another upswing and I'm going to do my darndest to keep us there. I never go down without a fight.

Sara

12 comments:

  1. Oh hugs mama, this road is a tough, but oh so sweet one. I had a little one who only wanted to be held, no carrier, no wrap. He had to be in my arms and only my arms. If I tried to put him sleeping into daddy's arms, no go. It was tough, for all of us...but it does get better, I promise. And when I look back now I would give anything to cradle him in my arms that way again. Even the tough moments should not be wished away, they are so special, though they may not seem that way now. Hang in there.


    And how very lovely to have your sister coming to visit, I know how much that will mean to have her with you. Enjoy every moment.


    Wishing all of you a lovely weekend.

    ReplyDelete
  2. It can seem so suffocating when you have a new helpless baby. As you know, it does change... and fast! She will be so much more independent as the months pass, it does get easier. Big hugs, and enjoy some extra help this week-end.

    ReplyDelete
  3. The Knitty Gritty HomesteadDecember 7, 2012 at 8:11 PM

    This so clearly reminded me of what I'm about to face again for the fourth time...that all encompassing DEMAND of an infant. Love, exhaustion, desperation, all smooshed into one tiny bundle. My older three FINALLY go off to play without constantly needing me to intervene...so at least I'll just have the baby to deal with? I remember it all so clearly...the adjustment to the first babe is the hardest because you still have the idea that your life isn't totally changed. The hardest thing was surrendering to the job I'd taken on...just that it was hard, and beautiful, and would likely go on for the next 20 years or more. Phew. I feel for you. Glad you got your cuppa! And thanks for stopping by my space!
    Stephanie K.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Wishing you a relaxing weekend full of peace. xo

    ReplyDelete
  5. *big hug* I am not yet a mama, so I can only imagine what you're experiencing - but hang in there! You are a great mom and things are going to get easier. Have a wonderful help-filled weekend with your family (and several cups of still-warm tea)! P.S. Loved each of your photos too - especially those curtains! :)

    ReplyDelete
  6. It WILL get better and honestly.. you'll forget just exactly how difficult this stage can sometimes be. I have one single instant (not even a day or hour) that still stands out to me two years later during those difficult times. You will sleep again and so will little I. And now for some unsolicited advice.. Happiest Baby on the Block (the DVD is better than the book) was amazing for our family. Just saying.. :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. I do believe you as we already have trouble remembering some of the tough times from the first few weeks, but it's encouraging to hear others experiences. We love the Happiest Baby on the Block book and tips. We use much of what we have learned in it for the night and she does really well with sleeping then, but I don't really do too much of that during the day and maybe I should try. She does really well with her swaddle (miracle blanket) and is always comforted by swaying and shhh noises. Thanks for the advice and encouragement too! :)

    ReplyDelete
  8. Thank you! It's not always so rough, but some days can get a bit tricky. :)

    ReplyDelete
  9. Thank you! It was a fun weekend. Pretty chaotic with such a full house and our critters, but it was much needed and the fun definitely outweighs the crazy. :)

    ReplyDelete
  10. I do think it will probably be hardest this time as you really can only prepare so much and there is no way to know what your particularly baby will need or really grasp how life-changing their arrival can be. I mean, we knew absolutely everything would be different, but knowing it and living it our very different, aren't they? :) It is definitely worth it though, every minute, some are just much tougher than others. Enjoy your new little one when they make their appearance. :)

    ReplyDelete
  11. Yes, it really does change daily. Thursday was just the hardest day so far, but then this week hasn't been too tough. You just never know. Thanks for the support though, it's much appreciated and much needed. :)

    ReplyDelete
  12. Izzy is similar many days. Even when E is home to help she so often still only wants me. Even since I've posted things have changed a bit though and she has been a lot more relaxed the past few days. Thanks so much for always being so supportive and kind, it really does help.

    ReplyDelete