After a day full of warm rays of sun and feet full of bare toes, today has brought us a day full of gray skies, pouring rain, and a large dose of thunder. Such extremes can be hard to handle when you are craving open spaces and fresh air, but they are all a part of this season we find ourselves in. This season of weather and this season of life. Days like today bring a morning of wondering how I am going to survive the day with an unhappy little girl whose eyes were full of sleepiness, but who would not give in to that sensation despite many attempts of nursing, rocking, swinging, wearing, snuggling... And then an afternoon comes along and brings with it nearly four hours of napping in bed together as the rain pours down on the roof and balance is once again restored. These are the days we find ourselves in, lost hours of sleep which can sometimes be regained during the day. Meals that are sometimes missed or gobbled up early, but a belly that can be satisfied with an afternoon snack to ease the grumbles. A girl with intense emotions who is quick to let you know she is unsatisfied, but who will just as quickly melt into your shoulder while traveling to the bedroom for an afternoon snooze. There has been no other season that has been so full of extremes, but also none that has been so full of love.
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
Sunday, January 13, 2013
There is not much time these days for anything that cannot be done with that sweet girl in my arms and definitely not many chances for pulling out my non-phone camera, but I am so thankful to have that little gadget for capturing little moments I would probably not have otherwise. And the having her in my arms? Those times can be tiring, but then I see photos of friends seven month old babies sitting and crawling and I pull her in a little closer while begging her to stay small for awhile longer. I simultaneously feel joy and aching in my heart at the thought that she will one day not be so tiny. This weekend my first niece celebrated her second birthday and I was unable to make the trip to attend. That evening her grandpa posted photos on Facebook, and, as usual, I smiled and cried at the same time, but this time, being a Mom myself, other feelings were mixed in. Not only was I missing my sister and her girls, but I felt joy knowing that my little baby would one day be having a party of her own and that these hard days would be distant memories. And you know where that goes...right back to the freaking out at the thought of her growing. Being a parent really is such a roller coaster mind trip isn't it? Being a parent to my sweet Iz really does command me to focus on each day and to do my best to soak up the sweetest parts while the challenges roll away because before you know it your newborn is nearly four months old and you really don't know how that happened.
Monday, January 7, 2013
Knitted Ball for My Girl
I know Christmas is long gone, but without time to sit and write I have not had time to really process it all. What it really comes down to is that I loved that we had our little lady here to celebrate with this year, but I am really glad that it's over. We wanted to see family, but traveling an hour each way with a baby who doesn't really dig the car seat and really only wants to sleep while nursing is a recipe for disaster. She did fall asleep in E's lap for a total of maybe five minutes, but other than that the day was a bit of a struggle. Unfortunately almost everyone there was also sick, so the two of us kept her to ourselves and tried to keep her happy, and luckily we all came out on the other end without catching any bugs of our own. I know next year will be very different, but we are also going to think ahead and decide how we want to do things and to try to find a balance in how our time is spent. Sure, we would like to see everyone and will make sure that we do, but we know we don't want to spend every single holiday driving to and fro and not spending much time together at home. I can only imagine that feeling will increase as Iz grows and we add more children to the flock. Right now we are just taking it year by year, holiday by holiday, and being thankful this one has been put behind us, with the next one not being until Easter, when babies will be older, noses will be less sniffly, and the air will have less of a chill.
How about you? Are you glad to move on to the next thing or are you wishing the holidays could last a little longer?
Here's to a new year and to all of the wonderful things that are to come while we enjoy spending our days together and watching Iz take it all in.
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
I have to admit that my little lady is just getting cuter and cuter by the day. She keeps me busy, but also keeps my heart full. Lately, as you have read, it has been pretty challenging, but I also know this time we are putting in will pay off in the end with a well-adjusted little girl who knows she can always turn to us no matter what. As a child I often longed for someone to hold me close, would lay awake at night wanting to call for my mom or to go to her while not being able to. I would hide around the house hoping for someone to come looking for me, would beg my sister to let me sleep with her in her room. Issues much? Well yeah, but my point is that I don't want Iz to ever feel that way and I really do believe giving her exactly what she needs and being there for her whenever she needs me will be worth every overworked nipple, rough day, and cold meal. Today being there for her equaled sitting on the couch while she nursed and slept for almost the entire day. Only stopping for small bouts of diaper changing, playing, and laughing until I nearly cried before starting it all over again. Good thing this kid makes for hilarious company since trying to get out of the house with her these days is pretty insane. Each time she awakes she smiles so big and she spends plenty of time each day screeching and babbling while watching how I'll react. So, yeah, some days can do me in a little more than I would like to admit, but I wouldn't give up this time with her for a million bucks. She makes me even happier than I could have ever anticipated and today I recommitted to taking things one day at a time, squeezing out all of the good that I can and powering through the tougher moments, leaving the previous one behind and not worrying ahead to the next one. Sounds like a pretty solid plan to me.