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Monday, July 15, 2013

Just Me

I grabbed up my computer and hurried off to the bedroom this morning for a little time to write before the day getting started and E heading off to work, but here I am left wondering what I even have to say. It was a full and mostly great weekend. On Sunday we went to a Unitarian church to check it out as a place we may be able to find some community while I would be free to explore my beliefs and it was a nice place with nice people but I'm not sure if it will be right for us. It might be, but when sitting down in a pew with program in hand I started exploring what was inside and in the "joys and concerns" column there was a listing: "(Woman's Name), who is at home resting after being hit with a bullet on church grounds last Tuesday evening." E promptly said we wouldn't be coming there at night and I felt a little uneasy, knowing anything can happen anywhere, but being fully aware that there are some places in our fair city where those things are more likely. And with the anxiety I have experienced in the past couple of months being almost fully surrounding something bad happening to myself or the ones I love, well, this was not helpful. These are the times I wish I was raised with a strong religion and consistently given the time and support to explore my beliefs when I was young. I realize even then the belief system you are raised in may not be where you end up, but it would have been a good place to start or at least give me a foundation to work from. We went to Christian churches as a family on and off growing up, we went to a tiny little country church with my grandma as well, and an occasional church with my stepmother, but I don't feel like I ever received much of a religious education and feel a bit lost with it all and now everything began bubbling to the surface again as my anxiety came up and also as I approach raising a child of my own and wanting her to not have to feel the way I do in years to come. This journey of trying to figure it all out is a hard one but I am reading and exploring as much as time allows because it is an important one for me. Maybe I'll write about it from time to time because one thing I have learned is that it is not helpful for me to keep everything bottled up inside.

But yes, back to the weekend, we received some really good news on Friday (that I'll share at a later date when I have the all-clear from those involved) and it's kept me squealing with delight each time I think of it. Day-to-day life is going to taken an extra leap into awesome-town come late Summer.

And then there's our garden and the kale, cucumber and tomato we enjoyed this weekend. I love Summer.

Sara

6 comments:

  1. i can't wait to read about your exciting news. :)

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  2. Kim Corrigan-OliverJuly 15, 2013 at 8:05 AM

    Exciting news...can't wait to hear it. I struggle with the religion thing, I grew up in a Catholic home, but am not practicing as an adult. Something about it just doesn't feel right. At this moment I feel a strong connection to the earth and Mother Nature, so I turn to her for spiritual guidance and I go to her when I need to figure stuff out. It works and feels right...for now. Good luck on your journey.

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  3. Thanks for sharing about your journey - it's not an easy one! And now you have me wondering about your exciting news... :)

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  4. Definitely not easy, but so necessary and important. The exciting news is great for those I love and in turn for our family. Can't wait to share. :)

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  5. Thank you for sharing your own experience. E is like you, grew up in a Catholic home (was even an altar boy) but as not practicing as an adult. I know I can find peace in nature, like you, it's one place...maybe the only place...that I feel like I can completely free my mind and find peace and clarity. Thanks friend, always.

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