Life is good lately. Things are still off with Iz's latch but after some unexpected trauma we continued on with the aftercare and now we are back to living life and working with our new situation. The good news? While her latch hasn't changed yet her personality has. I have always thought she is amazing and would tell her so regularly but lately she is just such a joy. She chuckles and plays and is so sweet and gentle and kind while still maintaining her strong opinions. This process has left me with a lot of guilt over not figuring out what was going on sooner, not helping her sooner, not taking away her discomfort immediately, but I know that guilt is unwarranted as there was no way to know and so instead I am choosing to celebrate our progress instead. Some days I still tear up and some days I still feel overwhelmed with some aspects of what I'm handling but I am more than happy to handle it. Happy to have a healthy joyful girl and a healthy wonderful husband. Happy to have a warm safe home over our heads and happy to have a community of like-minded mamas on my side.
With the rough patches we have been handling lately I am more thankful than ever for choosing positivity, for being able to keep pushing forward and focusing on one day and one moment at a time, it's helped. At the same time I still feel if I'm on the brink of something big, on changes to my life and to how our family lives and it feels good. I feel inspired and motivated and hopeful and I am trying to spend any free moments I can nurturing this feeling and these changes as to not lose hold of them. More than anything I do not want to lose hold of them because these changes are helping us get closer and closer to the future we have envisioned and each step we take, no matter how tiny, is an important step. One, after another, after another, and we will continue forward like that, each step adding one more stone to a foundation we can really build on. I can breath easier with that thought.