Sometimes your life heads in a different direction than you previously had in mind and when it does there are growing pains that require a lot of stretching and changing and reframing on your part but at the end of the day they get you closer to where you are truly meant to be, a place that feels more right in your bones than those visualized ideals ever did as they were just that, ideas and not your reality.
Oh, but those ideas, they still fuel you as they keep visions of seed packets, squash circles and bubbly pots of elderberry syrup running through your mind. They fuel your knitting needles as they click together into the night and your sewing machine as it whirs along through the layers of cotton you are quilting together for your daughter. They have you dreaming of change but staying put and making the best of until the time is right and the next move is most clear. They are friends rather than enemies these ideas and are there for you to lean on when the going gets tough and you are not so sure you will ever move forward.
I lean on my own ideas with frequency while working toward my dreams of a continually more simplified and sustainable life for my family and looking back I can see how far they have brought me. On a day to day basis it seems not much has changed as my every day is just my reality, but looking back over even just the last five years I am able to see such incredible growth. Just a few years ago I hunted down a way to make my wish of knowing how to knit a reality, took a class, practiced, fumbled quite a bit and can now knit up items I am proud of while continuing to learn with each project. Sewing machines and I had not been all that acquainted since a home economics class during my freshman year of high school, yet in the past few years I have begun to make simple projects for our home and can look at them with pride while knowing I have so much room to grow and explore in this skill which is exciting and something I challenge myself to do. I had never had a garden of my own, but now we have started a couple in our own backyard and though it has only been a few years we have learned so much and are planning for another growing season come Spring.
We can some things here and there, we try to make things ourselves when we are able, we are each day working our way toward that life we have visions of in our minds but also living that life in its present state each day. There are still visions of rain barrels, chickens and bees dancing around in my head. I still dream of being more engaged and involved with like-minders in our community and my heart always longs for a slightly different place to see this all to fruition, but seeing how far I and We have come I can see how far we will continue to go and grow and I find that both comforting and inspiring as we prepare to head into this next year, 2014.