Sunday, July 27, 2014
The Good Stuff
Summer has been moving along quickly and I know before we know it we will be welcoming in our next season. The other day the air was perfectly cool, with a light breeze and warm late afternoon sun streaming down and at that moment I almost thought Fall had already come and started daydreaming about those cool walks outside with a sweater to keep me warm, the days of open windows and cool breezes, the snuggling up with some knitting and a hot cup of tea when the sun goes down early in the day. Then I snapped back to reality, picked some goodies from the garden and gave thanks for bare toes and sun on my skin, for I do love a good trip to the pumpkin patch but am in no hurry at all to get there. Our summer has been filled with lots of time in the garden and yard, trips to the farmer's market, weekly trips to our library to complete summer reading club and take in the community gardens there, and mostly just trying to stay afloat while working on keeping our house in order and all seven of us alive.
One of our dogs, Jasper, has been sick since the beginning of the year and we have tried just about everything to make him well. Many trips have been taken to the vet with an equal amount of phone calls to check-in and plan the next thing, he has been on eight different medications and been given more natural remedies we have researched and we are currently working on switching him over to a different food in hopes that maybe just an allergy could be at the root of it all. Our next step is contacting a specialist to set up an appointment to check for polyps or a tumor and going from there - poor pooch is only four years old but he sure is having it rough. He started life stricken with parvo at only five weeks old and we nursed him to health in our kitchen, E sleeping near him on a camping pad at night. Half of his litter didn't make it but our swirly wonderful boy pulled through and I can't help but wonder if this current illness is so stubbornly hanging around due to his system being so compromised at such a young age, but all we can do is keep moving forward, loving him well and trying to get him healthy, so here's hoping we have more answers soon.
Luckily the rest of us are healthy and while I sometimes feel like there are too many piles on my plate we get by and have fun and we are all looking forward to some possible changes for our family in the next few months - ones that give me a bit of hope that there is a way for us to get to a bit more stable footing and a bit deeper happiness, but more on that later if there is anything more to say. Here's hoping!
Lately I have been so very grateful for other women in my life. You see, a bit of that deeper happiness has already been wiggling it's way in since connecting with other moms around this time last year. Over the year since I first walked in to a local nursing mom's group I have found so many other women who I am now happy to call friends. Other women I can count on and turn to and cry with if the need arises. Women and their families we can camp with and dream with and talk about crafting and gardening and anything else under the sun with. It's what I always knew I was missing but never felt there was true hope in finding. Sometimes my upbringing gets the best of me and I cower into myself feeling as if I am just extra, that really my presence isn't all that important in a given interaction or group, but if I am honest I try to let myself feel the care coming my way from others, to allow myself to feel welcomed and loved and to try to give that back in the ways I know how. Some of us have committed to getting together at least once a week and it often turns into two and seeing the bonds forming between our children, as well as ourselves, gives me hope for a happier future for all involved. There was a time a couple of weeks ago when I was sick and we had to stay home by ourselves and it really sunk it what a difference this community has made in both of our lives. When she was a baby I was constantly lonely but with my siblings living out of town, my mom working full time and no friends with kids I felt a bit hopeless and as if things would always be that way. Knowing there was nothing more to lose and that soon it may be even harder I took a chance and walked into a meeting and on the way home I cried, but then I went back week after week and slowly the connections started falling into place and here a year later it is hard to imagine it has only been that long. Us moms get to the point pretty quickly, allowing vulnerability sooner than one might otherwise be accustomed to and it was pretty easy to find the ones, those ones you know you have more in common with than just changing diapers and running on two hours of sleep, those ones you connect with beyond being a mom - not just because you are a mom - and I am so glad to have found a few of my own. I look forward to an endless amount of years of friendship and am grateful every day for having found them. And now? Now with my family all back and fresh friendships in our lives I feel like my cup is so much fuller of the good stuff.